“This is the story of 2012 politics with large. This is what’s going on in the Republican race for president. The more happens in the race, the more voting, the more campaigning this year the more voters have decided nationally that they cannot stand Mitt Romney.”

No one loves Mittens.

(Source: MSNBC)

Over the weekend, Sarah Palin said Mitt Romney has yet to convince conservatives he is really one of them. ”He still needs to be able to articulate what his solutions are to the challenges facing America – but not just Mitt,” she said. “All four of them.”

Gosh, Sarah, what more do these poor guys need to do? Have they not shown clear intent to take America back to the 1890s, the golden era before socialists like Teddy Roosevelt began messing up a good thing with his trust-busting and national parks? If I were Romney, Rick Santorum, Newt Gingrich or Ron Paul, I’d refuse to jump through any more ideological hoops. In fact, I’d call it quits.

But not these guys. They show no sign of stopping – which is too bad, because Martin Miller, the Times’ TV editor, has crafted a fine exit speech for the next candidate who checks out. Like so many of us, he has been inspired by this bizarrely entertaining slog through the primaries. So, dear candidates, when the the votes grow sparse, the money runs out and you can’t afford a speechwriter, feel free to make Miller’s lofty phrases your own:

“In leaving the race, I’m deeply saddened I won’t be able to restore America to her former glory as a great nation shining on a hill. My mission was to give that nation a permanent rainbow flying over it. My other idea was that the hillsides would be populated with talking unicorns and we could ask them, “How are you?” or “What should we do about the European debt crisis?” I’m sure they’d have some pretty good ideas. 

But, even more than that, I wanted this country to forget about our petty divisions, the artificial constructs that all too often come between us as Americans. There is no white, no black, no brown. No Christian, no Jew, no Muslim. There are rich and poor, though, nothing is going to change that. I’m rich, by the way.” (more)

(via @LOLGOP)